What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
