Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Randomize
