yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
She even gives head with a lisp.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
