I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
