dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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