there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
