If you die in college, do you die in real life?
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize