You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I don't deserve a penis
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Drake has all the answers
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
