it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
