I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
