mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
either way he was missing a nipple.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize