i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
