And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
