as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
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