you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
