you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize