her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
