apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
