So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Randomize