I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize