News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
