no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Randomize
