Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Randomize
