Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
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