theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
