my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
