whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
