her vagine was all disorganized.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
No subtext here. People are naked.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
