I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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