you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
It's just like the Real World with babies
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
