Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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