New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
