Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
