Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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