3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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