Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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