he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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