i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
