I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Randomize