i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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