Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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