Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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