bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
operation harelip BJ is a go
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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