Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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