oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
