winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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