tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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