Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize