As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Houston, we have a squirter
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
