she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
