So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Randomize
