If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
