you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
