Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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