That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
