Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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