I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
